Inner Thoughts: Cash Flow of Movies

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Today I would like to introduce a new, hopefully, weekly segment I like to call Inner thoughts. Here we will discuss questions that may not get answered a lot or quick, brief, tinges of the brain that inherently ask: ‘what does it do?’

I watch movies. I think it is safe to say a lot of people do. Sometimes while I’m watching, even in amidst of being drawn into the television, a simple question will pop into my head. ‘Damn, how much did it cost to do that?’ We see, exploding buildings, high end action scenes through busy streets, in between high end spectacular stunts done through CGI and choreography. But how much does it really cost to do this? I hope to at least scratch the surface of this question by delving into the internet.

Suffice to say we have talked a bit about movies this week. So I felt it fitting to hit on finical gain and loss from the Hollywood perspective. I knew ahead of time that one sum would not equal another for a different title. A movie like the Dark Knight will most definitely cost more to make than say, an independent film you would see in a Sundance Festival. But I at least hope to pick away at what really drives in profitability and see if it warrants millions thrown into a single project in hopes to bring in the green.

So in my search I first stumbled upon a term I have heard but never really understood called Parkinson’s Law. I came across a few detailed descriptions of Parkinson’s Law, but the most simplest descriptive version I could find was here. http://curiosity.discovery.com/question/what-is-parkinsons-law

So what is Parkinson’s Law? In the short: It is a long term investment that a film, song, anything with long term profitability will expand to meet any capital. This does not mean that actual gain has to be earned through their own pocket. Expenditure does not have to come from the movie production itself to make a gain, but can possibly come from revenue of third party corporations. For example, Hasbro makes and pays for costs of Star Wars action figures but Lucas Arts makes a profit from licensing and a percentage from sales.

I often see that a movie ‘flopped’ because it didn’t meet sales in theaters compared to price of creation. This is usually associated with a movie a few weeks into premiere; which granted is the busiest time for most films as hype can still be there. I see this a lot actually, but with the cost of production increasing to make films so does the turn over rate and with less people going to theaters to see these films the scales to be a switching tide.

An interesting article I stumbled upon which can be found here: http://www.reuters.com/article/2009/03/02/hollywood-finance-idUSLNE52103R20090302 states that funding through Wallstreet banks and hedge funds have overloaded the market. The decrease in big budget films has hit a decline from 2008 to 2012. (the dates mentioned in the article) There are numerous mentions of loss of profit, selling of titles, and just trying to reach even which leads me to believe profitability is not as sound as one might think.

So, what can really drive home profit? Last year marked two animated juggernauts vying for the hearts of little kids and the inner kids of grown ups. I’m sure you know which two I am talking about. Yes, Despicable Me 2 and Frozen. According to a few sites I have browsed both titles reached over a billion dollars in sales, taking out the cost of creation, numbering the 100 million to 160 million range. That is a lot of extra dough lining someones pockets. This is just from ticket sales, current sales on DVD’s merchandise and albums. This number will only grow as Universial Studios completes work on the Minions attractions at their parks and keep pushing the craze for the yellow guys.

Toys, cups, books, whatever you can market for your target audience, is free game for revenue. I have never met a kid who didn’t like cartoons making animated movies and television a very profitable venture with lower costs as often times you don’t need high class talent to fill your roles when kids usually can’t tell the difference between Tom Hanks Woody, and any country bumpkin that could fill his place. As an Adult you may lose a viewer but we all know if your kid loves it you either got to suffer through it or learn to love it too.

Going back on a previous article I wrote about Nicolas Cage; merchandising can be a more limited form of green. The niche gain from sales outside of Dvds and shirts is low. I mean, yeah, I’m not gonna lie, if they had a ‘Not the bees!’ Nicolas Cage action figure, with detachable bee hat and a little funnel to tunnel yellow black fuzz balls in, I would jump on that in a heart beat; I’m in a minority though. It will not sell as quickly as a Lightening Mcqueen RC car, that is for sure. Which, fun fact, you can buy a Joe Enders action figure from Windtalkers or a Nicolas Cage bust on Amazon. Neat.

So maybe movies are just not as profitable unless you appeal to a wide audience? Why is it that movies cost so much to begin with? Lets take a closer look at the price of creativity.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/the_big_picture/2009/01/why-everyone-li.html, states that budgets are often fishy. It is safe to assume that they are low balling costs to appear as if more profit is being made, but in the grand scheme of things it just a headache to account for. So we have assume all numbers thrown around are estimates. So with that said lets nail down in turn what costs the most for a movie:

Marketing makes up a huge chunk of cost. References state that the most profitable moment in a films life is during the first week in theaters. Accountants for Spider Man 3 stated that 45 percent of the difference was from the first week alone when it hit theaters. Advertisements from trailers, ads on TV or websites hone in on potential movie-goers to come see their flick. A rule of thumb is to spend 50 percent of cost in marketing than in the actual production of the film. That seems quite high.

Next would be Actors or Actresses. The appeal of a big name star is often overstated in marketing. How much more likely are you to go see something if you recognize a big name star than a nobody? I am guilty of this. You put Liam Neeson, my favorite actor, in a movie and I’m sure to go see it. Spending a few extra million for a top seller seems like a no-brainer in long term gain.

That said, the net worth of stars is a ever changing thing. It is not a lifelong tag as popularity comes and fades bringing with it the cash gain to boot. Neve Campbell, lead star in Scream 2 and voice of Nala in the Lion King 2, quickly faded out of the spotlight, even though at that point she was predicted to be a huge star. Unfortunately it is the nature of the beast.

Let me be clear, you don’t need Tom Cruise in your movie or Liam Neeson (Just do it for me at least: I won’t deny I have a man crush on the latter) to make riches. The newest Star Trek Movies and The Hangover are good examples of average actors who have made a name from these pieces of art. The Spock of the new generation was just a power stealing douche for a con-fuddled series called Heroes and Zach Galifianakis didn’t break into the big leagues of comedic proportions till he became a one man wolf pack.

So with the two big ones out of the way, your budget is now set for everything else. Cameras, crew, lunch buffets, costumes, set pieces, locations, traveling, all these odds and ends that add up and up. I hate doing my own bills, let alone tally in all these extra expenditures. Yep, add an accountant or two to hire to deal with these headaches.

Yep, today I learned that movies are not a sound source for the Benjamins. Not unless you are already a big name producer or Disney. No, with the fluctuating tide of what aims to be a hit, it’s hard to pin point on what marks the gainable and what is deemed as potential flops. There are too many uncertainties that plague the screen, making me glad I am on the other side viewing from the outside in. I only hope my ten dollars for a ticket and a possible DVD added to my collection will help these producers to keep giving me what I want: quality productions.

So what does my Inner Thoughts say now? Yeah, I am never going to see a slither of the budgets being thrown around in my lifetime.

So what are your thoughts on my thoughts? Please leave a comment!

–Tyler S.

 

Links:

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/the_big_picture/2009/01/why-everyone-li.html

http://www.reuters.com/article/2009/03/02/hollywood-finance-idUSLNE52103R20090302

http://curiosity.discovery.com/question/what-is-parkinsons-law

http://www.boxofficeguru.com/open50+.htm

http://www.deadline.com/2014/03/despicable-me-2-frozen-most-profitable-movie-2013/

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303949704579461813982237426

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Abandoned Movie Sets

jurassic2We watch them in awe, staring intently at the screen anticipating what will happen next. These works of art that take crews of people to build and decorate, sometime small other times massive scale. Movie sets are awesome. Today we live in the golden age of movies. The movies that are produced today are better than ever. Sure some of the movies that made it out of the early 2000’s were weak but for the most part they are incredible. We have amazing set designs, costumes, CGi, and extremely talented actors. We all see the final product the movie, but what many people don’t see is what’s left behind when the cameras and big lights pack up and head to the next movie shoot.

Jurassic park

Everyone knows Jurassic Park, it brought us all back to our childhood, or in my case I never grew out of dinosaurs, you saw the sheer size and beauty of the creatures and the surrounding jungle. The movie is said to be set on a remote island off the coast of the Dominican Republic, but is actually filmed in Kauai, Hawaii. This is all that remains on the Island of Jurassic Park, part of the entrance sign. Most of the set was taken out by hurricane Iniki that hit the island. Interesting side notes, also filmed on this island were Godzilla, Windtalkers, 50 first Dates, and Raiders of the Lost Ark.

One that hits close to home for Tyler and me is from the legend James Cameron. The reason it being close for us is it was filmed literally an hour from us in Gaffney, South Carolina. The movie was shot in an uncompleted nuclear site that Cameron turned into the biggest underwater set ever built. It took over 7 million gallons to take the tank to 40 feet. Sadly the site was demolished in 2007, but I had to throw this one in there since it was a major blockbuster hit, and got an 88% on Rotten Tomatoes, that was filmed in South Carolina.

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HobbitHave you always wanted to discover middle earth and hang with Gandalf? Well you actually can! You can take a guided tour of the set where the Hobbit was filmed in New Zealand. The Green Dragon Inn, double arched bridge, and many of the other sites from the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings movie sets are still up and would be a very cool place to visit for any Lord of the Rings fan.

gbu2I know these past two movies have been newer films and you’re probably wondering is there any older movie sets that are still around that I can visit? The answer is yes; let’s first start out with what many would call the perfect western movie. “You see, in this world there’s two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.” That’s right I’m talking about the 1966 classic The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly starring Clint Eastwood. The entire movie was filmed in desert of Tabernas, Spain. Besides this iconic film many other westerns were shot here as well as another Indiana Jones film, Indian Jones and the Last Crusade. What remains are the Indian burial grounds where the final showdown takes place as well as several of the small set towns that were built. Now these sets are locations for western reenactments for visitors.gbu1

And last but certainly not least, one of the greatest movie series ever created, Star Wars. Yes you can visit an actual part of a Star Wars Galaxy and not have to travel in a galaxy far far away. The 1976 film shot Luke Skywalker’s home planet scenes in the Tunisian desert. Photos began coming onto the web after photographer Ra di Martino started exploring the desert looking for the site. He found it and the photos are really incredible, especially to a Star Wars loving Nerd like myself. It may take some navigating on your own into the desert but with the coordinates and a canteen what can really go wrong? Okay it will be a tad bit warm in my Stormtrooper uniform, but Lord Vader will be there as well and he can just give me a small carbonite bath to cool me down.

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Whether you like that the sets were left, or hate that there is yet another thing destroying your mother earth. These are some cool sites that any movie buff will appreciate, especially if they happen to be one of your favorite films. What your favorite film, and can you visit any of the sets?

–Written by Jeremy C.

Links:

radimartino.com

http://desertedplaces.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-abandoned-movie-set-of-camerons.html

 

 

Grohl Vs. Idols

Music has always been a big part of my life. Sure, I can’t play an instrument. I’ve fumbled around with drums in the past, learning a few beats but never really went anywhere with it; it is something I regret not picking up as a kid. But do you really need to be able play to appreciate the art form? Do you have to be a gourmet chef to enjoy a good meal? I think the answer is a resounding no.

The state of music has changed over the generations. The past 50 years tunes have evolved into more complicated collections of genres and sub genres. The variety present in this day in age is numerous and with the amount of talent that is buried in all the bands, singers, performers, you can keep yourself busy swirling in the emotions of new finds all the time.

With the technology to set yourself out there, showing your skills with instruments or vocals, the ability to break the mold has changed. Justin Bieber became famous from youtube. Artists for over a decade now have made fame from appearing on television with using shows like American Idol. But with the change in music are things really going in the right direction?

I came across an article, albeit an old one from last year, about Dave Grohl, front man of the Foo Fighters and former drummer of the legendary band Nirvana. Here is what he had to say:

david-grohl-quote

Preach it brotha!

Suffice to say he is not a fan of shows that promote easy fame through possibly embarrassing yourself on national T.V. I am also not a fan of these shows, but not for the same reasons. My reason: it’s usually not my type of music. These shows tack in on the more popular genres like pop or country. They are meant to turn teens into the next idol, but in the same vein it really makes these people compete to be this Idol.

I can only partially agree with his statement, though. Because of the change that has taken place, music can be reached and achieved in a broad scope. If American Idol or The Voice can bring goals to fruition in its own way, then what really is the problem? Besides, these shows center on an artist. Not artists. Bands, like the one Dave Grohl in, are not the center point for shows like these.

Think of all the winners thus far. They show up on stage with a band, group, maybe even by themselves, but the principle of the matter is they show up as the main attraction. It is not called Daughtry and Band. Nope it is just Daughtry.

Do not get me wrong, I don’t think you need your name up in lights to be successful. But for casual listeners, when a band has a singer, you tend to remember the singer not the rest of them. I could not tell you the rest of the band members of Foo Fighters, which may be partially to blame that I do enjoy their work but I am not an avid listener. Sure, there are always standout personalities. Slash, comes to mind. I could tell you more about him than I could Axel Rose from Guns and Roses. On the whole, these are usually rarer occurrences.

I will say it again though, just because drummers, guitarists, pianists, what have you, are not known by name by their fan base, this does not mean they are any less crucial to the group. I have heard band change lineups. A great guitarist is not easily replaced.
Dave Grohl in the actual article mentions that he would more or less deck a billionaire if they ever told his daughter she could not sing. Stating, “What would they know?” While I agree to a point, one thing to keep in mind is that these people are simply looking for a niche voice. They are looking for that firm clean singer with high range, which from watching the show the first few seasons, is surprisingly a dime a dozen. While someone who may have the ‘average’ sound might get axed straight out of the gate, there is just plain god awful sounding people.

William Hung

No amount of cute stares will get me to listen! –Okay… maybe one song.

Does anyone remember William Hung? No? Of course you don’t, probably not the name at least. If I asked you the same question but instead phrased it as, ‘The awful sounding Asian guy who sang she bangs,’ you might just remember him. He was pretty much a joke, there is no denying that. He could not sing, yet even with that said, he went on to record his own record through an actual producer. Hell, he even did two more after that. Course, when the joke wore off, he faded back into oblivion. Left singing to people who indulge on racial stereotypes and such. Read he retired a few years back, actually.

Now, let’s flip the script. If William Hung started off in his garage copying Ricky Martian Latino flair, he would most likely never be heard of. His popularity (Even if it is for the wrong reason) only bloomed because it reached ears that could not be reached from the four walls of a dinky house. That is a fact.

If say Simon Cowell were to say Dave Grohl’s daughter sucks the big one, can he really get mad? I understand it is his daughter. No father wants to deal with the heartbreak of seeing their sweetheart crying over a matter like this. If I had kids, I know I wouldn’t. But people have to keep in mind that people who do shows like these generally aren’t just fill ins just throwing opinions around. They are known people who have made a career either singing in the same genre or have produced records and have worked with people in the same genre.

That is the key word. Genre. You got a deep raspy voice: try some soul or jazz. Like to scream? Death Metal it up, baby! Sometimes the gifts given are meant to be placed in a different way. I prefer gruff sounding, gritty, grunting men (As dirty as that may sound) over the clean suave voice over someone like, say, Adam Levine. Actually, my favorite groups generally have a mixture of both; the rough and the smooth cut vocals. It is the best of both worlds to me!

Simon-Cowell-2119367

You are the weakest link! Goodbye.

So why can’t we have the best of both worlds? We can, obviously, because what worked for Dave Grohl has worked for many bands as has talent programs brought attention to a good few singers. Just like many a boot has been given to people on television, it also hasn’t work out for many bands. He claims sucking in your garage will make you the next Nirvanna, but in reality, you still need talent in the end to get somewhere. Nirvanna does not equal small town rock group.

 Really, maybe the point he is trying to get around is that people have changed their attitude about music. No longer, in his view, does artists care about the music. It’s about having fun with each note and heartfelt chord that is strung. Maybe, he feels that the only reason people who enter these shows are just seeking the fame and fortune. That would not be far from the truth. But it really isn’t always the occasion. Passion can come in many shapes and sizes with different forms tethering it in place, and to make it noticeable people will go different routes to express it. American Idol, Weekend bar jams, recording in your basement, it is all the same if the heart is in it for the music. That is how it should be.

 So to Dave Grohl, keep rockin.’ As for you winners and losers of American Idols, don’t let the dream die. Even you Just Bieber, keep doing your thing. Though I might not listen to any of you today or even tomorrow, you are doing your part for the world. Because music makes the world go round.

So what are your opinions on Grohl’s interview?

                                                                                                             –Written by Tyler S.

 

 

 

Quote of the day! Rockin’ style!
“A musician should only sound like what they do, and no two musicians sound the same. It’s an individual feel think, you know?”
                                                                                                                                      -Dave Grohl
Links!

George Jung finally “Blows” the Joint

George Jung finally blows the joint

Depp visiting Jung while incarcerated during the filming of the movie

The women are hot, money is fast, and the drugs are good. The fast lifestyle seems to just fall into his lap and once you get a taste you never fully want to give it up. I guess the best place to start is towards the end of the 2001 Crime thriller Blow.

In an attempt to score some fast money George Jung, played by Johnny Depp, decides to make one last drug deal. This will give him the money and time he needs to try and make up lost time with his daughter. However the deal goes south and George is arrested and sentenced to 20 years in federal lockup. Fast forward to 2014 and George Jung has been released from Fort Dix prison in New Jersey. Jung now 71 years old will be moved to a half way house somewhere on the West Coast where he will transition back into society.

 

For me I’ve always been drawn by these larger than life “bad guys” that have come from nothing and all they posses are an ambition to want it all, and they go out and get it. I think this is an awesome thing for a person to have is a powerful self motivator inside of them. And to think that if this same George Jung was born into a wealthier family and if he had a better home life, he may have been the CEO of a large company that he built from nothing instead of a drug empire.

For those who don’t know throughout the 70’s leading up to his arrest, Jung was the biggest cocaine distributor in the United States, bringing in almost 90% of the nations cocaine into the country.  Starting out as just a guy selling marijuana his ambitions lead him to the top as a drug kingpin, and all the perks that come with it. When you think about it all the choices people are faced with daily. What to eat, wear, date, career etc. There’s always the question why am I doing this and does the risk match the reward that I will possibly be receiving. A quote from George Jung himself answers this quite nicely and since I first watched the movie years ago this has always stuck with me.

George Jung finally blows the joint

George Jung Mug shot, portrayed by Johnny Depp

“So in the end, was it worth it?
Jesus Christ.
How irreparably changed my life has become.
It’s always the last day of summer, and I’m left out in the cold…


with no door to get back in.
I’ll grant you, I’ve had more than my share of poignant moments.


Life passes most people by while they’re making grand plans for it.
Throughout my lifetime, I’ve left pieces of my heart here and there…
and now there’s almost not enough to stay alive.
But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition…far exceeded my talent.
There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door.”

                -George Jung

Life passes people when they’re making grand plans, hopefully Jung will be able to keep out of trouble and not focus so much on the grand plans that await him and stop and smell the roses as that old cliché says. Despite on top of the world you can lose it all by just like that. I think this is something we can all take away in our own lives. People are always planning for their next big thing, the future this, the future that. Sometimes you need to refocus and adjust lens that you’re viewing life from and see what you already posses and enjoy it and be grateful.

George Jung Finally Blows the Joint

Freeway Rick Ross after Prison

Who know what will be in store for the 71 year old Jung after prison. He may try and gain money and success with his ambition through a legal means this time selling himself instead of cocaine. Freeway Rick Ross was a crack cocaine mogul in the late 80’s and made $850 million in profit. While incarcerated he said he read over 300 books and educated himself. He now has a book to be released late in 2014, as well as shirts and other merchandise that revolve around his legacy as a top Drug Kingpin, as well as how he changed his lifestyle and how he wants to now save others from his past mistakes. I hope that he can try and salvage a relationship with his daughter and live the rest of his life enjoying the scenery and not having all of those bars and razor wire blocking the view. And maybe Jung himself will profit from his past fast life and make a positive profitable future.

–Written by Jeremy C.

 

Links

http://www.tmz.com/2014/06/02/george-jung-blow-inspiration-johnny-depp-released-prison/

http://www.freewayrick.com/

 

Nicolas Take the Wheel

Left Behind

I’m tired of all these mother ****in unbelievers on this mother ****in plane!

Nicolas Cage: actor, producer, father, husband and possibly a living god. Yes, ol’ Cage has his hands full. According to the legend that has been built around him, he is the essence of that which is holy for the people of the web. A shrine so glorious to uphold the status quo can be found at places like this, (http://www.reddit.com/r/onetruegod) admiring and spreading the gospel of his remember-able moments; that face will always be etched into our minds.
Yes, I realize this is a joke. Nicolas Cage can’t be a god. (…or can he?) But in all things humorous there are always half-truths. What is it about him that makes people devote time to him in some shape or form? I mean, it is a reason why I am writing an article about him. Because it seems people just have a love/hate relationship with The One True God, even if it is for the wrong reasons.

So where to start? Cage has been acting for years. He has taken action roles for comic book adaptations like Ghost Rider and Kick Ass. Blazed the streets as cops or crooks in films like Lord of War or The bad Lieutenant; even stole a car or two in Gone in Sixty Seconds. Want a romantic Nicolas Cage? How about a dose of Valley Girls or Moonstruck: just for the ladies or diehard fan. My personal favorite, if we’re talking about a dosing Cage, is movies where he plays as the wildest characters. Oddball characters are a dime a dozen in his movie line up and that is a good thing.
No one can forget about Con Air when he rips a guy a new one over a stuffed animal. The facial expressions and lines in Vampire Kiss or Matchstick Men are hilarious and vibrant in a weird way. Craziness is an often too common an emotion he betrays in films, something he does so well that it just makes you wonder if he is legit on the bat shit crazy scale; on par of other known actors like Gary Bucey and Charlie Sheen.

Not the bees!

Them pagans need Jesus!

This seeps into his other performances though. There are moments in his career where subjects supposed to be marketed as mature, dramatic, tales are spun into something else entirely.  You have not lived nor can you truly understand the genius of Sir Nick if you haven’t seen such masterpieces like the Wickerman. It was meant to be a serious film but as we all know, throw in some bees in a basket and you got comedy gold.

Speaking of gold, many would dote on the quality of the work he has played in, mainly over the last few years. Even so, these films are raved by fans, (usually not reviewers and inquires on older titles) as must see pieces. Using The Wickerman as an example, critically from a business point of view it didn’t make the splash that may have been hoped for. It only made 38 million in the box office, 2 million shy of production costs. But wait—what is this? Catch Phrases? Yes, when you get people quoting your movie, sharing wide spread images of a man with a bee beard, I would say you hit the jackpot in success. Who really cares if you have something that looks like a turd when it is solid gold? Personally, I think Psy looks like he is playing jump rope as a mentally handicapped child would in his Gangam Style videos, but hey does my opinion really matter when you can bathe in hundred dollar bills.
Sadly, some of Cages deuces are brown and squishy. There have been some terrible stinkers that just don’t translate to ‘oh god that is so bad it’s funny,’ because let’s face it, that is the Nick we all know and love. Bland and bitter tasting as they may be, films like The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, The Knowing, Bangkok Dangerous or Drive may not make the cut but can, if viewed by the right person, be entertaining. Failure may not derive on whether people like a movie or not but rather if it draws in profits to cover the cost and more. This is something most consumers will never think about when they view titles. Vampire Kiss while a great movie, didn’t even reach half what it took to film it, yet it can be raved as a cult classic.
You have to hand it to him though; he has been in well over 40 flicks now. More than half I could argue being worth their merits in one way or another. He is doing good enough to own more than a dozen homes and a freakin’ castle or two. Necessary no, but does he know how to live? Yes. Granted, this has brought trouble to his door. Not paying taxes, finical instability, seemingly living off movie to movie to afford these luxuries. I’m sure it also doesn’t help that really the only thing that has proved actually successful box office wise over the past few years would be the Croods. Everything else has hit the metaphorical fan.

midford-castle-1-2

Living it up Medieval style

So, to straddle the topic, ‘why is Cage popular,’ the answer would be twofold: Unintentional comedy and odd charismatic charm. You combine the two and you get something inequitably delightful and unique that Nicolas Cage just pulls off. Something he and he alone can do. Honestly, I cannot view him as a badass. There is just too much goofiness in his mannerism and speech that compels chuckles or whims from his approach to portraying the insane. But it is not a bad thing.

 

Prank

Pimp my desk, Nicolas Cage style.

Today though I stumbled upon a trailer for a new movie. A remake of the popular Christian series; Left Behind.
Let us delve into the future, coming in october we will get to relive rapture again when the Left Behind series makes its second debut. It has been a long time since I saw the original adaptation. As far as the older version is concerned, I couldn’t tell you the plot beyond people disappearing into thin air leaving behind nice piles of clothing to be pilfered. Was there a central focus on those forsaken on an airplane in the original? I don’t know and don’t really care enough to look it up. But, I do know from seeing the trailer that the new version will feature yours truly playing the part of one of Gods lost sheep. Thankfully an unsaved pilot who can keep the remaining passengers soaring through the skies. He should have just chosen Jesus as his co-pilot.
First impressions don’t look promising, no. Feels like a cash rush to keep up with the stream of Christian related material hitting theaters this year. (Noah looked interesting though and is currently on my to watch list, but mainly for cinematic appeal) But maybe, and this is a hopeful maybe, Nicolas Cage can work his magic charm and turn this serious movie into the next Wickerman. Something I personally think would get a pulse to what seems like a dying fad in his internet fame.

I would hate to see his face disappear into the obnoxiousness along similar lines as Chuck Norris jokes or Rick Rolls. Just like how everyone quoted Snakes on a Plane for months after its release, Nicolas Cage needs to even  the mold for new memes and quotes for this decade. Avid internet users know of the passing of fads all too well. One week’s hilarity becomes beaten like a dead horse to be thrown away for something else edgy and new.
So even though Nicolas Cages days in the sun may turn to dusk, leaving behind a faint outline to a legacy lost, you never know when you might  catch his face staring you down in the most unlikely of places. But in the    end even gods can fall off their clouds and become nothing but history.

 

 

There will only be one true god in my eyes. Morgan Freeman.

 

Quote of the day, Nicolas Style!

“I am not a demon. I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther. I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion.”

Nicolas Cage

 

Links!

Left Behind trailer:

 

 

 

Bad Curry

Bad Curry

‘cleaner than any public toilet I have ever seen’

Have you ever thought you would ever get killed trying to use the bathroom? Apparently this a common thing. That is being killed, raped, harassed or anything lacking releasing them bowls.  According to an article I came across released by theguardian.com, you can in fact be harmed if you try to defecate outside in a public area. Especially if you are a female. I tell you, you women have it rough.

Of Course, this is more of a third world problem. I’m sure if you asked most Americans where Uttar Predesh is located, a location mostly talked about in the article, you will get a solid, ‘no.’ Hell, I didn’t know the place existed nor would I know it is in India. If I just heard the name I would have thought it was science fiction location, like a planet in Star Wars.
Some numbers are thrown in, 2.5 billion people are without access to private pooping stations.  That is what? Not far off from half the population of the world now? That seems like a high number. Cut that number down fifty percent and you have over a billion women in danger in their compromised state. That is a lot of women.
The article centers for a moment on two teenage girls. They leave to use the restroom, no white throne to sit upon in home abode, striding off to find somewhere to soil the soil. Amidst of doing this they are attacked brutally to the point where they were found dead hanging from trees. I’m telling you the risk is high that you will either be raped or have acid thrown in your face in India. Maybe even both!  The country is in poor state, I would not advise anyone to go to India. Don’t buy into the brochures peeps.  
I am a man. My chances are slimmer of the lurking eyes of predators hiding in the bushes, waiting to attack helpless defecators. Plus—well I own a toilet.  That said, I occasionally check behind the shower curtains. Hey, you never know.
Pooping privacies should be instituted into common courtesy. It should be like the time out in a football game, instead of giving the hand ‘t’ you give that glorious hand ‘p.’ When you stop the clock, you are allowed ample time to plop n’ drop. Bathroom time is strictly serious business. How can you do your business when you are tense that you could be the next rape victim?
Yes, the article claims that 95% of rape happens when a woman ‘answers a call of nature,’ in Uttar Predash. Wow, Indian guys sure have coprophila down pat. (Sexual pleasure from feces, The more you know!) So not

Bad Curry

‘No means no, quit listening to Robin Thicke’

knowing anything about Uttar Predash going into the article I had to dig a little deeper in this fine place.

Uttar Predash has, according to quick google searches, a population of more than 200 million people. Poverty is common, which is a shame. It looks like a beautiful place, tropical climates and decent temperatures. But again, by all that is holy, don’t go there! The Taj Mahal is not worth it! Plus, well, it is not in that part of India.
So how do we help this situation? Is it even our problem? Very rarely will you hear of similar stories in countries where bathrooms are numerous and owning a room to personally use to befit your everyday crossword or whatever you fancy in solitude. That leaves the question, is it our place to provide the facilities it requires to cut down on the problem?
The answer to me: Toilets won’t solve the problem. If people are brazen enough to assault someone in a public area what does putting up walls and a seat stop? It just then gives privacy of the act if anything. Sure, I understand that if you own a bathroom you don’t risk mingling in the cesspool. Let us be real here, if any venture in charity was to be given out, financially, it would be cheaper to cut the corners and invest in a public location but this simply herds victims into a central location where the pickings are easier. If this was a viable option their government, if they have any, would have to step up their game in protecting the rights of the women using these locations. Do what they do with the schools these days, put some guards in!
So how would we go about doing this? We seem to have a hard time keeping people fed in third world countries, I have seen my fair share of infomercials, so how would we go about installing plumbing for these unlucky people?  I imagine a round a bout’ group of plumbers dropped in airborne style, with massive crates filled with porcelain thrones and building materials. Hit them with ‘Merica love and give the joy that only can be brought with a cushion for the tush.
I feel though, after reading this article and becoming enlightened of the trends these countries face that these problems will go unanswered. I salute Barbara and gang for at least taking the effort to write a piece on the issue, albeit a gloomy problem to oppose. No woman deserves rape, even if they claim it a fantasy. (The woman, not you bush whacker) So here is to hope by some chance a Kony 2012 movement takes place. May I be the first to launch, ‘Toilets 2014.’